21 March 2015

Kingston School of Art Archive: 140 Years of KSA

Back in December, I started volunteering at the Kingston School of Archive which I never knew was situated in the back of our Uni library. They desperately needed some 'graphics' help so they set me on a fun task which they described as a 'montage' using all their material in the archive. I thought well... I can do something a bit more interesting with all this stuff. I thought how about some wallpaper! 





This task was really fun and it's paid off! I made them to cover some of the walls in their 140 years of Kingston School of Art exhibition at Kingston Museum and they have been spotted to be used again later on this year... I will keep you posted on that one! Not sure if it's alright to reveal just yet. 

Hopefully I can find the time to stay involved with the archive, and possibly help out with some more projects.

Penguin Book Cover: Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit.

This year I finally got around to submitting to the Penguin book cover competition. After reading about Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, I really, really, really wanted to make a cover for it. Admittedly, I watched the series rather than reading it (time issues obvs) but it gave me enough information to get my teeth into it!

From looking at previous covers, what I disliked was that there wasn't a clear connotation with religion. Given my Catholic girl background, I felt like I was in good stead to put in some biblical references. I went for an Italian biblical fresco/painting style, mixing it with a super 70s wardrobe. I also wanted to lightly reference the biblical story of 'The Adulterous Woman', where Jesus stands up for a woman who is accused of adultery. The crowd is ready to stone her to death, so I thought I would position them the way that many painters have placed Jesus and the woman, with a few oranges as though they could have been stoned by them.

I'm pretty happy with this cover, and I'm so relieved to have finally been able to submit one! As much as it's not a particularly 'graphic' style, I think it does show the complexity of the themes in the book. It's a book that is totally up my street, questioning girlhood, faith and the way that society sees and uses religion. 






17 March 2015

Final Major Project: Because You're Worth It.

Yesterday we had our final crit for our Final Major Projects. As I wrote in the last post, it's been a really difficult twelve weeks for me and this project has been a Marmite project....
My project was a continued exploration of girlhood from my dissertation focusing on a quote that I came across:
'By presenting a world with no need for social change, 
this use of the Girl Power discourse fails to provide girls with tools to understand 
and challenge situations where they experience sexism and other forms of oppression. 
Thus, girls are discouraged from seeing inequality and from engaging 
in challenges to such inequalities.' 

 Taft, J. (2004) 'Girl Power Politics: Pop-Culture Barriers and Organisational Resistance

After my dissertation and constant conversations with others about girlhood, I really feel like this is an issue that gets overlooked and in my opinion, ultimately is making the feminist discussion even more difficult. By believing girls aren't 'ready' for feminism, or mature enough to start to understand what women are trying to do, it creates a binary that doesn't differ much from the inequalities of men and women. In this way, girlhood is treated as the constant ambition to be 'older', 'wiser', 'sexier' and a poisonous atmosphere is often created through these ambitions. How are women expected to have a critical and genuine discussion when girls are encouraged by media, stereotypes and ultimately women and adults to do the complete opposite? There is a need to become everything as a girl... and for so long I thought it was just something I had felt growing up. But the more I read and talked to people, the more I realised that this is something that is so engrained in so many people. 

Strangely, what I have found in this experience is that it seems to be a mostly generational thing. During interviews with other girls, my age and also younger, all of us were really emotional. Thinking of ourselves and also our peers, past and current, it's a feeling and emotion that we barely even let ourselves think about. Many of my tutors, both male and female, have struggled to understand what I'm trying to say and why I've made the decisions I've made. Much of what I was concerned about was being dictating with my work, and I absolutely could not and would not use my drawings to represent the emotions of so many people. I wanted to create something that was interactive and enables users to create something completely on their own, otherwise it would be totally against the point. The point was to create a space where girls and women could create something together, but in a genuine way, in an attempt to subvert beauty myths and social media pressures into something empowering. I wanted to lose control. My tutors wanted me to take control but for me, it was without reason other than to make something aesthetically 'pleasing'. 

Initially I was going to build a mock 'toilet cubicle' where girls and women could go in a record their voices expressing thoughts, passions, angers or criticisms, which would then be 'roboticised' and played outside of the cubicle. This apparently wasn't visual enough which...I got. I understood. Then, I wanted it to be graffiti-ed by the public...but that was not me 'in control'. So then going back to my original proposal, I decided to make objects. Surely then it's visual enough...


I was slightly less enchanted at this point, but I put my all into making 'brushes' out of various objects, mixing DIY objects and beauty parts to make 'tools' for girls to use inside the cubicle. In the end I really liked what it was like visually, and I decided to make a film to demonstrate the objects in their working order. I was advised to 'fake' the marks they made, but I disagreed; these brushes are making marks that represent girls, and girls should not be treated as though they are specifically 'precious'. So I didn't. You can see my film here.

I'm really happy with this outcome, and in hindsight, it absolutely fulfils my brief in a way that is sensitive and yet also isn't patronising. The criticism I got was as expected... my tutors didn't like that the marks were made randomly in that they didn't make an 'image', and hated the voice which I believed made it less saccharine. They also still thought I should have faked the marks. I bit my tongue in response; after all, nothing I say would have changed their mind about it. I can only describe my feeling about it, after feeling like I've had to fight to do the project as I wanted, is complete frustration. It's perpetual, because I feel absolutely ignored by people who are supposed to be my support during this project, the same way that many adults ignore girls as humans who will make a difference in this world if they, WE, are not faced with ideas that we're not enough. I was absolutely encouraged to do this project in the first place, but I feel like the whole time I hadn't been listened to, nor have they ever asked me questions or attempted to debate with me. Even when I had shown them a film from interviewing other girls, it didn't seem to get through that this isn't just me with a chip on my shoulder. And yet, I still feel like I'm having to explain myself constantly and prove myself as a designer.

I feel like I have to write all of this because this is a place where I can be genuine with you, and honest with myself. From the endless readings on platforms like ROOKIE (spesh this article by Kingston alumni Hattie Stewart), talking to girls who are living through school now, watching TED talks by Eve Ensler and other women, I know this is a world issue that so many of us try to ignore because everyone tells us it makes stronger. We're told that bitching and putting other girls down makes it easier for us to be better. I know it will be fine for me eventually, and I'm looking forward to spending time with more people who are capable of listening to each other. But I am just glad that this project, at least where it is judged by a number, is over. As much as I knew that it was going to happen, I did not expect the project to face this kind of criticism. One that is absolutely superficial, when the whole point is that it is wrong for this. I even made something that looks beautiful! And still it is met with criticism that I feel is unrelated to me or my project. 

However, the best thing that could have happened is that I found out today that I made it onto the MA History of Design. I'm so ecstatic not only because it's an awesome course, but also that I can move on from practical design, and I know that leaving it behind will help me reconcile with it. I know I'm good, I know my strengths and I absolutely always have. To be made to doubt and challenge myself is good, but not for the sake of my self worth. Not in the way that I have been 'challenged'. That is not the point of university at all. Thankfully I have the support of my friends and peers, who are ultimately the future of the industry. They will be my colleagues, my support, and they are the biggest positive that could ever come out of university. As much as my tutors are just the people I want to share this issue with, it won't get me anywhere to fight with them. I just still have to do me.

If you're reading this and got accepted into Kingston, please don't see this and then go and cancel your place because it is an amazing course and it does have so much to offer. I have a lot of respect for my tutors and they are obviously experts in their fields and are under a lot of pressure, I know. They are not bad teachers. But what I am trying to say is that you are your best and most important critic. I disagree with what they have said about me and my project. Wherever you are, don't let others stop you from reaching your goals and pushing forward. I challenge you to challenge the tutors, they are absolutely not always right, YOU ARE. Don't ever let them bring you down. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

(Sorry for the long, long, long post, but I couldn't get this out of my head... Thanks for listening xo)



13 March 2015

An Update.

Apologies for the lack of content this year, and I think it's about time for an update. I'll try my best to remember two months worth of what I've been up to!

Since January, we've been working on our final projects, which has been a little bit of a roller coaster for me. After finishing and handing in dissertation (yay!), this project has pretty much been the sole concentration of my brain...not all of it has been healthy. It's taken a lot to get to the end but I suppose that happens with all big projects like these. I decided to continue my topic on girls and girlhood in this project, and all the concept and ethics of it really got to me. I really felt, and still feel, a need to get it right, and I think a marked, university setting isn't always the best place to ask these questions. After all, I can understand that it needs to communicate clearly, even if the subject is incredibly complex. Right in the middle of this project I really put myself under a lot of stress and strain, and I think it goes to show you can really really overthink things. A LOT. There has been a lot of crying and arguing with myself, and persuading my tutors about the concept which I know and believe that a lot of girls and women will and do understand. But, I think that it is limited to a certain age group, one that has experienced their girlhood in the same (or later) generation as myself. But in the end, I have made it out alive and our crit is on Monday, so I will be relieved to put the topic to rest. At least for now.

On top of all this, I have also managed to somehow find time to do other things. Crazily enough, I've started a few collaborations with the fabulous Ruby Smith and another animation with Rosa and a bigger team of people. I've also started volunteering for the Kingston School of Art Archive, which landed me to another job working with the fashion department here.... so I'm back on the Fashion illustration train! So so so many exciting things going on, and in a way, final project has proven not to be the most important. I think for me, if I'm only focused on one design process I really get in trouble with freaking myself out. It's been helpful to have been able to step back, and have the morale from all my friends. Also, not going to lie, but playing Sims on iPad has been helping me to live out a different life...sometimes you just need a break you know?

Also an update on 'The Future' (??!), back in January I actually applied for an MA in History of Design at the Royal College of Art (!!!!!!). I've had an interview, and have yet to hear back about my application... I have all my digits crossed for it. After writing dissertation, I just know there is so much more I can get my teeth into; I really feel that side of me needs some nourishing. I know that I will forever carry on drawing, painting, filming, making, but I do think I was also born a thinker. I might not be able to create the most appropriate things all the time, but I have so many ideas about the future of design and how it can help us at least develop solutions for this world. So yeah, I'm doing a lot of hoping and praying.

I have a few more things to show you and tell you about, so I will try my best to keep you posted. I won't let you down!