From the previous post, and maybe I've spoken to you personally about it, but I've been finding it difficult to sort of find my turf . I think the realisation that this is my entire life and there are ways that I'm supposed to go about it just went way over me, and it's taken a while to come to terms with it. I somehow just need to not freak out. Most likely, my mark for this year will be okay (I got a 2:1 in the end - major relief), I'll just keep doing what I like doing, because I'm good at it. And work will always have more love put in if you actually like doing it at the time, and it feels instinctual to you.
On that mantra, I decided against this year's project of drawing every day, and instead just drawing when I mean to draw. The thought of rushing a shit drawing at the last minute EVERY day is just exhausting. So I've decided on concentrating on the two trips over this summer, to Hong Kong, and then later to Germany. I'm off to Munich and Freidrichafen with Jonas! At first I wasn't sure whether I was not doing it because I wanted to be rebellious for feeling fucked over, or because I was just genuinely unrelaxed and uncomfortable, and just needed the break. I'm not sure what the project deems to prove, but I think that my idea of what I would do over the summer anyway would show I am committed to myself and what I want to do in life. Isn't that what University is about? Learning and discovering just what you want to do, experimenting and having fun?!
So yeah, I'll stop ranting, I'm sure most of you have heard it from me previously.
I took a really limited amount of materials with me, purely because I needed it all to fit in a tote. It's been fun to use colour again, and that is something that makes me excited, but then again, I liked using my ink pens this trip. It's not my best sketchbook, and certainly not the most detailed, but we didn't have the time or energy to stick around for me to draw, and it's one of those places that in the heat and chaos of the city...it's difficult. No excuses though, it could have been way better. But then that's why the photography worked, and I like the combination of the two together.
Also, a hugely important thing to mention, thankyou to everybody who has been there to support me in real life, and online. It means so so much to hear that you're enjoying watching my journey and well... to keep going. I'm genuinely surprised as to how many times old friends and familiar faces that I don't see often tell me 'hey, I really like your blog!' and it means the world. I've found when it's hard to believe in yourself, there is nothing better than a friend to talk you out of it and have a beer in the sun with. Positivity! Don't listen to the cynics kids, you can be anything you want to be. Love you all! xxx
